Mindfulness: Letting Go

By Frances Forde Plude

We are living in a hectic 21st century. As I try to be reflective among all the noise, I have found Wisdom in two places. The first is a woman at Harvard who is researching the Buddhist concept of mindfulness. The second source is the personal and painful process of helping a treasured friend cope with Alzheimer’s.

Ellen Langer, in her book Mindfulness, finds research evidence that those who cultivate attentive, mindful living are more content even into their senior years. Mindfulness has several components: creating new categories, being open to new information, and awareness of more than one perspective. 

Langer says: "We let our rules, our routines, our goals, overdetermine our behavior much of the time." (Harvard Gazette, November 24, 1989) She notes mindfulness overcomes boredom, frustration, and powerlessness. 

Practical Mindfulness

Langer’s research came to mind recently when I spent precious time with an elderly priest who has been my mentor and dear friend for several decades. Alzheimer’s disease has damaged his short-term memory; soon after any experience it simply disappears from his memory pool. It is just as if it had been erased from his mind’s blackboard. This has forced me, a communication specialist, to communicate and relate in whole new ways. I spent an afternoon with my friend recently enjoying photos of my summer European trip. With a photo of England’s Durham Cathedral, I noted that I arrived at this shrine on the very same date he had been there exactly forty years earlier. It was a joyful afternoon of sharing.

Later we watched the sun set from the veranda of the memory-impaired facility where he now lives. As we cherished this experience, I reflected that the happy memory of the afternoon sharing had already been lost for him. I could see that one coping strategy is to be mindful of communication and moments shared as they happen and to let go of the need to store these moments for future reference.

Letting go. In Abbot Thomas Keating’s book Open Mind, Open Heart he writes: “Centering prayer is an exercise of letting all perceptions pass by, not by giving them a shove or by getting angry at them, but by letting them go. This enables you gradually to develop a spiritual attentiveness that is peaceful, quiet, and absorbing” (p 40). 

Returning to our technological age – in Virtual Faith Tom Beaudoin speaks of solitary spirituality in cyberspace. “The Net is becoming a virtual monastery for the spiritually dispossessed… There are on-line monasteries in which users can listen to chanting monks, gaze on brilliant iconography, read holy manuscripts” (pp 89-90).

In the 21st century we face the challenge of mindfulness, of letting go. How do these concepts come to life within a parish community?

By Suzanne Nelson

Mindfulness influences our point of view and our success in parish work hinges on this. We should consider two angles: the long view and the short view. The long view sees things in terms of the kingdom, or the “reign of God.” We pray, “Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done…”

We pray that all will be in harmony with God’s plan; that we will make choices that lead to justice, unanimity, peace. We know sometimes those choices will mean letting go of more immediate concerns, compulsive wishes, personal plans. We will need to let go of the short view.

At a recent workshop on leadership, directed by Dr. Patricia Kelly, we were urged to invite parish ministers, volunteer and paid, to remember the importance of working for the kingdom. Our staff decided to write a Memo for Ministers. The first draft follows below. It is based in part on a Peace Pledge by Arthur Jones (NCR, 9/3/99), adapted to parish life.

Memo for Ministers

“As a minister in this parish, I am using my God-given gifts to bring about the Kingdom through this parish community. I accept the fact that this effort requires of me a prayerful spirit and skillful, responsible action. I realize that my work is an ongoing gift to God.

Therefore, I will strive to develop a reflective life, one that considers the incidents of the day in relationship to Christ and the Christian way of life. 

  • Respecting self and others (avoiding uncaring criticism, hateful words, self-destructive behavior)

  • Communicating honestly (sharing feelings, expressing anger in healthy ways, solving problems peacefully)

  • Forgiving (apologizing, letting go of hurt) 

  • Respecting the environment (using resources with restraint and care, exercising responsible stewardship, planning ahead)

  • Acting with courage (peacefully resisting violence in all its forms, standing with those who are mistreated)

  • Building a healthy lifestyle (continuing to learn about my faith and my ministry, taking time to play, to appreciate the arts, to cultivate hospitality)”